Funny jokes (jokes of the day)

A bear walks into a bar and says, “Give me a whiskey and … cola.”

Why the big pause? asks the bartender. The bear shrugged. “I’m not sure; I was born with them.”😏😏

Funny jokes for all people who have a good sense of humor.

Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needed a “little space.”

What does a nosy pepper do?

Gets jalapeño business!

What kind of noise does a witch’s vehicle make? 

“Brrrroooom, brrroooom.”

How do celebrities stay cool?

“They have many fans.”

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn’t take a bath?

“A stink -o -Saurus”

How do you measure a snake?

In inches—they don’t have feet.
🤑🤑

Why doesn’t Dracula have any friends?

Well, honestly, he’s a real pain in the neck.
🥴🥴

Why are frogs always so happy?

They eat whatever bugs them.
😹😹

why didn’t the chicken cross the road?

because there was a KFC on the other side.😏😏

And the Lord said unto John, “Come forth, and you will receive eternal life.

But John came fifth and won a toaster.
☠️☠️

Where do beef burgers go to dance?
The meatball

This joke is dedicated to all of my and your assholes friends.

My friend thinks he is brilliant. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry, so I threw a coconut at his face.👍😂😂

joke for all of my intellectual friends

What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

 “HeHe”

Tell us your favorite jokes in the comments? We would love to post them with your name.